Arts of the Brain

October 25, 2008 at 8:28 pm (Uncategorized)

So I guess I’m officially a tool now.  Here it is:  the blog!  I have maintained, and I still maintain, that blogs are the height of self-indulgence.  Er, let me recant on that–“vlogs” are worse.  OK , conceded, so I was a tool prior to the decision to title my blog “booklizard,” but if there was ever any doubt at all to my toolish nature, it’s now all been annihilated.  Yes…self-indulgent.  I don’t know the pyschology behind it (yes, I’m one of those arts majors who found an alternate way to procure a science credit), but there’s a definite appeal to posting your thoughts on the anarchical Internet.  Anyways, here goes.

Found out yesterday, definitively, that I will never don a uniform for the Canadian Armed Forces.  Apparently, epileptics pose and “unnecessary combat risk.”  Fair enough.  This makes me very sad.  Though I understand their argument, I totally get it, it’s still disappointing.  I only wish they were forthright about it.  I kind of inwardly sigh at the mention of military service now, which is unfortunate since I have friends in the Army and the Navy.  I would have gone for either…I guess the most frustrating thing is that most of the time I’m not even aware of the epilepsy.  It takes 10 seconds out of my life each day to pop a pill, that’s it.  But there’s no sense in whining about it.  Taylor was telling me about some epileptics whose seizures are so bad they have their corpus callosum’s cut, which messes them up in many unpleasant ways.  So I’m glad I don’t have that.

Epilepsy.  It blows.  But, whatever, I mean, yeah it’s totally lame, but you have to play the hand you’re dealt.  Like Shannon says, for every suffrage there is a grace.  So…that’s good…I guess.  Perhaps I shall continue to attribute my wildly, unnatural lack of tolerance towards alcohol to my medication.  However, having seen Taylor drink what she does, I’m starting to think it might be genetic.

Shannon gave me a ton of new clothes last night.  Pretty sweet!  It includes this gigantic made-in-Great-Britain wool jacket, which I’m hoping will keep me from another bout of hypothermia.  I’m also hoping to swipe an army jacket from gwat–apparently you can wear them at the North Pole and remain warm as toast.  Unsure about that. We’ll see.   I’m just so discouraged (an understatement) about my finances right now.  I simply do not know what to do.  I’ve resorted to borrowing money towards the end of the month to make the rent payments.  It makes me sick to have to do it.  But I do.

I guess what this post is about…the epilepsy, the military, whatever…all goes back to the terrifying financial situation I’m in right now.  A job in the military would have given me a stable career I probably would have enjoyed, as well as allieviating some of the sickening, crushing debt my thoughts dwell upon every day, even seconds after I wake up.  But aren’t I too young to be bitter?  Well, I’m planning on sticking around for another, oh, 70-80 years or so, so I should probably ditch the emo now.

“For even the youth grow weary, and the young man shall utterly fail.  But those who call upon the LORD will mount on wings as eagles.  They shall run and not grow weary; they shall walk and not grow faint.”

Isaiah 40:29-31

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